ugh, im totally pissed off. my mother wont let me get a fucking job untill i get straight "a"s on my report card. thats so stupid! i already have three "a"s, is that not good enough? no, of course not. right now im saving up for a vespa, a trip to japan, and little things.

about that trip to japan. today in english i went to sharpen my pencil, and i notcied this green sheet of paper on the cork board. it was about a trip you can sign up for to go to japan in july, see room 111 for details. so during break, i went to room 111. this lady told me that it was a two week thing, round trip, and that it would cost about $2000 (not including food and souveniers). so im thinking, if i can get a job now, i could prob'ly save up 2 grand by july. but theres my stupid mother in the way. this could be so fucking awesome, you have no idea. alskdjfa;sdklf!

i just drew a picture of myself, but its not really me. ever done one of those? its too cartoonish to be real, and its like skeleton thin. i wish i was a skeleton.

today was a good day. i found out that i kick ass at indian sunburns. beware! ive got hands of fire! i still have a faint mark where drew so kindly gave me one. those boys are so rough!

i feel really alone right now. it seems like im spending most of my social time with guys. during class and during lunch, im usually with the guys. i really dont fit in with the girls, i guess. i think the only thing we have in common is liking guys, but barely, noone seems to like the guys i do. everyones just so fucking bubbly. i really wish i was bubbly, i do. and cute. God, if i was cute life would be so much easier at school. for one thing the teachers would like me. but i dont feel like crying right now so ill just move on...

i really need a haircut. i at least need a trim. next time i get it cut, cut, im going super short, and ill wear it flipped. ill either do an anime girl cut or a molly ringwald-ish thing. i need to grow out my bangs first, theyre so gay like they are now. too long, but a bit too short, ya know?

oh hey, i think i have a crush thing on micheal hayworth. but im pretty sure he still has that 8th grader girlfriend. is it just me or is that kinda gross? i mean, think about it, my sister is in 8th grade... its only two years, but its such a maturity gap between the two grades. well... to me it is, but i guess my opinion is largely based on my relationship with my sister. and i may be totally off here, but jeff is just so sexy! his grungy scrawny-ness... his hair... skljfas!!! jake if youre reading this ill totally kill you if you breathe a word about anything. and ill totally never forgive you. i can hold a gruge (ie: me and casey callis's relationship since last year... and she didnt even do anything!). so watch your mouth young man! speaking of sexy... kyle blauhwhhgh!! since having english with him, and seeing that his not the dweeb i thought he was last year... (i think it was the sunglasses...) enough with the sexiness! um, natalies twin brother... hott!

i should probably stop talking now...

its been real.