10.31.03 5:25 pm
worst. halloween. ever.

he hugged me, and i dont know what he was thinking, but i didnt want to let go.

i feel so guilty. im listening to a burned copy of "room on fire" untill i get the real thing.

i wanted to do something tonight, but...

hm, i feel totally lame.

i wore dirty socks today, but you couldnt smell. you can now, though. im so grungy!

after second period, i was leaving the wall. walking to class like a little girl. adrienne yells at me, and i swing around. she told me my skirt was caught on my backpack. so i was like, mooning all of hhs as i hurried to class. there was this other girl standing next to adrienne, and she had this priceless look on her face. i hope i didnt have a wedgie...

i went totally beserk when i got home today. it was weird. i drew this huge assed (but i love it) picture on my wall, and i was like bouncing off them. i actually ate something, too. i really wanted to talk to jeff, but hes not on. he never is friday nights. must have a life or something... haha.

im kinda worried about that, me not eating. i havent had a decent meal in days. so far today ive only eaten two bites of raisin bran and two slices of bread. yesterday was just about the same, 'cept i had a bit of cookie dough, too. im not even drinking much, either. im trying my best not to get dehydrated, but drinking almost makes me feel sick. its hard for me to eat, too. when i put something in my mouth, my brain goes, "sick!" i hope im not slowly slipping into anorexia.

its been real.