11.07.03 10:45 pm
worst girlfriend ever

ughh, i feel horrible! jeff came only for one set, so that was a dissapointment. before he left, though, he tried to kiss me. tried. i totally wasnt expecting it so when he leaned in i kinda backed up. then i almost went in, but backed up again. he said, "are you going to kiss me or what?" i felt horrible! i wanted to so bad, but it wouldve been my first, and infront of lots of kids, and i was afraid it would be bad. i really want to call him and talk to him, but i dont know his number and i dont want to call this late. i shall call tomorrow. michael told me he wasnt mad, but seemed embarassed. weve only been going out for three days! i wasnt expecting that from him, hahaha. he held me the whole time he was there... i feel so bad.

aside from that, the show was great. i felt so awesome being back on the scene. i just really love music, and being there, and feeling the beats and rhythm inside of myself. mmm, i love it!

faren called right before drew picked me up (he also picked up michael and cole, what great fun!). i talked to her about jeff. haha, she was so excited. i asked her, "what, did you not think i could get a boyfriend?" and she joked, "no, i just wasnt sure if you were a lesbian or not." i hope she doesnt tell mom. parents are just no fun.

i really want to talk to jeff... perhaps ill see him tomorrow? *wishes*

its been real.