12.28.03 1:48 pm
its long, just skip this one, its also boring

last night was so much fun. im glad i hung out with those guys.

michael and chris arrived at my backdoor at about 8:30ish. i grabbed my camera and we headed off towards this giant radio tower type thing in some random persons backyard. i guess its for satelitte tv or something. anywho, michael started to climb and me being the pussy i am, ran away at the sight of a sihlouette. it was only 8:30, you cant go climbing equipment that early! sheesh! so then we went to aarons house. that was kinda pointless. we talked to him for about 30 seconds and we went outside to play with his rail while he stayed in and played ps2. we goofed around a bit and i deemed my camera battery-dead. then we went to go pick up elmo (zack). hes so hott. after we picked him up we made out way down to the exxon station. on the way we found a pikachu kickball and a discarded christmas tree. nothing really became of that. i listened to the guys make fun of each others misfortune and added the occasional "aw!" or "you guys are mean!" they all have relatively messed-up families (i dont want to sound mean, buts it true... i wont go into detail though.) i am so naive because i found it damn near unbelieveable that that was going on down the street from my house. anywho! so we get to the gas station and the guys talk about their recent porn purchase and i convinced them to go across the street to steamboat bills, a cajun restuarant. i know it might sound like i live in a relatively developed area, but i dont. we have gas stations scattered in the 'burbs (i guess its a southern thing) and a random eatery down the street. its very very suburban here, other than that. anywho! we get in and decide we only have enough money for drinks. but we end up getting those for free and chris had $15 so he bought us food. me and zack didnt really eat. those guys are so fun! hahaha. after we ate and i came back for my scarf, we went over to chriss apartment. it was very cluttered, but i think apartments are really cute. when we got in, he gave me a stop sign and showed us his new stereo. then we left to go to my house. i made michael carry my sign, heh heh. leaving the complex, we overheard domestic abuse taking place. once again i was pretty surprised that stuff like this happens. i dont know why i thought hendersonville was such a perfect place. boring, but perfect. im such a child, really. so anways, michael knocked and yelled at the appartment and we ran. then we got to my house. i let everyone in and my parents said hello and my mom started talking to them and offering them drinks and leftover holiday goodies. then they moved into the living room. they said it was cozy, haha. i hate it now, its absolutely smothered with xmas decorations. zach played the piano and i found new batteries. i wanted to go but the guys wanted to stay. so i moved them into my room. that was fun. they played with my guitar and magna doodle and hoola hoop. we just goofed off and talked. then we started to play uno. at about 11:30 dad comes in and tells them its time to go. mom was going to let them stay longer, but dads gay so they left.

wow, that was a long paragraph with equally long sentances.

i wonder if jeff would be jealous/mad hearing that three guys hung out in my room untill 11:30? hahaha. that reminds me though. michael kept bringing up jeff last night. asking about him not calling and us not hanging much. i thought that was kinda weird, but i look into things too much.

yesterday i did talk to jeff (but just online *sigh*) and i tried to get us to do something but he refuses to take rides from parents and yet he wont (or hasnt yet) get his license.

me: i still havent given you your present

jeff: i know

jeff: sorry

me: haha, why are you sorry?

jeff: sorry that i havent seen you since school

me: oh

me: thats ok, i guess

me: you could see me today

jeff: how so

me: i dunno

me: i could come over

jeff: nobody's here

jeff: i dont think my mom would approve of that

me: or you could come over

jeff: no car/nobody here/ no license

me: well if you really wanted to my mom could pick you up

jeff: no

me: so well just never see each other then

jeff: oh we will

jeff: damnit

jeff: we will

was i too forward? i dont care, its gay.

well, last night i officially filled my journal and today ill move into my new one. im still decorating it, but it looks pretty nice. i also started on a painting (a liars self portrait) yesterday. ive really lost all confidence in myself. my digital camera also tells me im horrendous looking. bleh.

my dog has been crazy lately. shes chewing/eating everything, edible or not. its really getting on my nerves because all through the past few nights all i hear is her retching. its sick. she also pucked on my bed. AND SHE WONT STOP LIKING HER ASS.

speakin of ass! i took a picture of my ass crack with my digital camera and uploaded it on to my computer. i then set it as the wallpaper. its hilarious. this morning my mom told me it was porn. shes so funny, and yet sad.

its actually 2:14 now. i just spent like 30 minutes on an entry. what a loser. but im on my way to a life, perhaps ill get a cellular phone soon.

its been real.