first off, thanks for the notes guys. i feel kinda dorky, but thanks!

ok, this is the last time ill ever mention jeff. ive cleaned my computer of him. hes no longer on alert and ive deleted all the saved conversations. i also took him out of my phones memories. but today i was talking to dusty, on of those guys from my world geo class. ill spare you the details but it turnd out hes jeffs cousin. just thought that was weird. and he talked to me last night. he said i was too shy and i told him to hang out with his next girlfriend more. i think im feeling better today, i havent cried yet! ive moved on to feeling... unrest. i dunno if thats a real word but its the same as restless. i just like the way that sounds better.

so today i was thinking. over the summer id love to do something like finishing school. i dont know if theres anything like that around here though. i just think itd be really neat to learn how to be so old fashioned and girly. maybe it would help me to be more graceful and less awkward, haha.

something else i was thinking about is starting a photography club at school. whitney, betsy, and lauren all think its a great idea and im sure it wouldnt be hard to rally up bunches more kids. i think itd be pretty easy to get like mrs kandros or hendrix to sponsor it. im thinking wed have like weekly meetings and assignments and such, but that might be a little too often for the average high schoolers schedule. anywho, im thinking if we can get all that worked out, we could start it next year. im so excited and i think it would be awesome! i hope everything works out!

today i really fucked up my art II grade. i didnt turn in that major outside assignment. add that with all the feild studies i never do and you get a bad grade, im sure. although everything i do in class gets high marks, i dont think its enough to bring it up.

today was weird, me and ashley spent all of fourth block actually doing work. no fucking off what-so-ever. it was insane. but with the one acts in two weeks, i guess things will be picking up pace.

ive noticed that i rarely look anyone in the eyes anymore. thats probably a sign of extreme self-esteem problem, huh? i guess ill have to work on that.

i think i might start feeling a sense of rejouvination soon. what with spring coming and me being totally detatched. i really really really hope i can make it to the ben kweller show in april. it would be mucho mucho fun.

speaking of mucho, i got muchos complimentos on my socks today. isnt that funny? they were argyles, duh. ill never stop rocking them.

okie dokie, well im done!

its been real!