its clear he wants nothing to do with me. my brain gets it, so why cant i stop feeling? i think this feelings all a very sick joke on myself. it has to be. how can i so blatantly disregard the messages?

i know exactly what i want now, but im not too sure how to go about getting it. i dont know where to start. i feel its all a little late.

i hope you never have to feel this.

its been real.