05.05.04 4:08 pm
I'm happy 'cause I'm hopeful.

i had a revelation last night. it was after i read the perks of being a wallflower straight through from like 6ish to 10:30. i highly suggest everyone read that book. anywho, i realized exactly what ive been doing wrong and how to act next time. and there will be a next time. i mightve said this before but now its really sunk in. and i know this sounds terribly lame because im 16 and acting like this is sooo important. but its a fact, at this age, it is. i just cant let myself think it is, haha, ive got to work on that. ive just got to remember its normal to be dramatic or to think these really petty things are really important. i just cant help but feel guilty about it.

i got my annual today. my school picture is really bad and theres a picture of me sleeping in there, but theres on good pic. its of me keath michael and landen from last semester. i look adorable, haha. last semester was fun. i really want to hang with those guys again. i wish i hadnt blown them off because i thought jeff was actually going to do something with me, because he never did. oh well.

like i was telling jake, "rookie mistake." hahahahaha.

but seriously, next time will be the shit. i sound like such a dork.

ive got to go get a camera for friday. the trip is going to be mucho fun! sooo many people are going.

bah, ive lost my concentration. ive got to mow the lawn. its so fucking hot. fsdfj;askdjf

i used to see you around school and think to myself: "why oh why is she wearing that?" then i met you and realized how sexy you really were... on the inside. and a little on the out. never change kid. never change...

its been real.