i started taking my medicine again the other day. it makes me feel... floaty. i dont mind it that much, it just leaves me empty. at least i can sleep at night now. but that may just be because i stay up so late and wake up kinda early.

i dunno.

i went to the periodontist the other day. turns out he cant tell ive fucked up the tooth. maybe i havent? its just that it still kinda hurts every now and then. maybe itll turn out ok. ive still got to go back to the orthodontist and get that retainer adjusted. bah.

i hung out the first couple of days our of school, but then again its always like that. ill be spending the rest of the summer visiting my therapist and working on art. i used to be very social, really, but now it almost pains me to get out. i feel really bad about it too, im afraid i give out a vibe that i dont want to be around people and that im really bored and want to get away. but im just not well, you know? so if ive given you guys that impression, im sorry. mom practically forced me to go to a party friday. as far as me getting out, i guess it wasnt that bad. i wasnt very talkative, but there really wasnt anyone there that i hang with even occasionally. i knew people, but that was about it. and then of course i was the only kid there who had to be driven by her mom. hahaha, that was pretty bad, espcially when the guys were waiting for me to leave so they could go swimming. this kid told me hes seen me before, but i had no clue who he was. i was kinda taken aback.

my head hurts. ive been watching trashy tv shows. its embarassing. my sister is still asleep. i envy her. i had a dream we adopted another black and white greyhound. lori needs a friend. shes very timid. kinda like me.

ok, now im just being weird.

its been real.