its absurd that those few people think (or thought) i am (or was) a lesbian. but im still hurt. it confuses me. if you know your straight how can people still get the impression youre gay? its true noone has made me feel that way since jeff. im just not attracted to anyone at the moment. i guess antidepressants really do have sexual side effects. ive just been feeling so anti-sex lately. it sucks. because i love feeling weak at the knees and out of breath. i love getting excited at the mere sight of a guy im into. the rush of having a secret crush on someone and the anxiety of not knowing if he feels the same way about you. its so fun. i miss it so much. ill be off these pills in about four months, or less even. i cant wait to feel honry again.

its been real.