12.13.04 3:37 pm
im listening to "air" via: the owls

its been only three days. should be comtemplating why he hasnt called? should i call him? what would i have to say... "hey, its allyson. you havent called me since we went to see that movie. do you not like me?"

why am i so awkward?

speaking of awkward, yesterday at zachs couldve been better. he picked me up at 1:30, met my mom, petted my dog, and we left. we talked a bit on the way to his house about video games (please dont let me be all about video games) and his weekend. we played super nintendo for about 3 - 4 hours. i didnt talk as much as i could have. i dont know what my deal is. i mean, i do, but why? its normal, but why do i make such a deal out of it? the ride home was borderline awkward untill i mentioned the time when i ate lunch alone for a couple weeks last year and he came to talk to me. that pretty much sunk the ship. i dunno how he took it, but i was laughing the whole time. hes so attractive its intimidating. on the way home he offered to get me high and also to go out on the lake. i dont take him seriously, though hed be cool to get high with.

today i was kind of high from last weeks boyness. first patrick then zach? im feeling the love. i just wish i was cool enough to take it further. *sigh*

wednesday is my birthday!!!!!