04.11.09 4:50 pm
i know i have it pretty good, i just feel bad

i'm upset because i've been very sick the past couple of days. yesterday i wanted to make cookies, and we didn't have any eggs. i asked my dad to bring some home after work. i couldn't stay up to wait for him and the eggs (i was seriously sick, had to pass out) so i left a note for him along these lines:

dad, please put one egg into this cookie dough and then put it in the fridge, thanks.

i woke up this morning to find that he had eaten all the cookie dough. what the fuck. i hope he gets sick.

i really want to move out. but i can't afford to. my father just stresses me out so goddamn much, it's ridiculous. if i moved out, even if i had no expendable income, i'd be so much happier.

i don't think i can go on tour for two months. i'd have to leave $400 for my car payment, i'd still need $500 in the bank for school (deferred payment plan, hell yeah), and a couple hundred to survive on the road. i have $300 in the bank now. it's just not possible. i have to give my dad $300 each month ($200 car payment, $100 car insurance, phone bill, etc) but these days i'm barely making $450 a month. oh! i forgot! i have to get a passport before we leave, that's another $100. i don't have any money and it's really hard for me to save it. sooo, i have until mid june to get nearly $2,000. i don't think that's very likely.

goddamn i feel pretty miserable at the moment.