i only update this because i am afraid to lose it. 13 years of angst and growth and boys and men and ... what's a few pages on the internet?

i go through this each time i revisit... a little cringing, a little laughing, and a little crying. it's so bittersweet. i think i'll use this for a project in the near future. for now, i feel like i should write a general, basic update.

i am 26 years old. i'll be 27 in four months and two days. (my "cast list" was last updated 10 years ago!) i quit smoking almost 2 years ago. i'm taking diabetes management seriously now. i have a savings account with actual money in it. i'm finally becoming a stable, responsible person.

i am single. i've been officially single for almost a year, and unofficially single for 2...ish. at this point in time, i couldn't care any less about being in a relationship. i'm enjoying this. it's funny to think about how consuming all that was a few years ago. so much drama. i think i've finally mellowed out.

i've worked for the same coffee company for nearly 5 years now, but i'll be throwing in the towel in 3 weeks. i'm going to start looking for a part-time job soon, because...

i will be starting school in about two weeks. i am so excited. i wish i had my shit together 5 years ago, but better late than never. for now i'm majoring in graphic design with a minor in painting. i don't think that will change, but who can tell. lucky for me, all my community college credits transferred with no problem. i should be able to finish my degree in 2-3 years. i REALLY want to take a semester abroad though, so that might draw it out a little.

i have a 2-year-old boston terrier named BONEZ. i've had him for a little over 2 years. he's my heart. i haven't given him nearly the love, attention, and training that i would like to, but that might just be my guilt complex kicking in ;) he's a total turd butt sometimes, but i can't imagine life without him now.

my relationships with my parents isn't much different than it was 10 years ago. they've been divorced for about 6 years now. i could write paragraph upon paragraph about them, but... well... i'm not 16 anymore, and we could all do with a little family counseling. i'm incredibly grateful for their patience and support. they might not be perfect (who is?!), but i couldn't ask for more.

i don't know why this is, but i feel as if i've always gotten into the "poor man's version" of the internet. when everyone was making crappy angelfire or geocities webpages, i was messing around on expages. while my moody peers kept up their livejournals, i was here on diaryland. i lot of things in my life could be described as "second rate," but i think it's forced me to be a little creative & it's obviously shaped the person i am today. i wouldn't trade that for anything.

i don't know... i should probably quit here before i try too hard to be meaningful and end up sounding sad. or something. whatever. i haven't actual organized my thoughts in awhile and i'm burning out pretty quickly here. we'll see if i want to make a habit of this.