04.03.17 9:34 pm

i've noticed a trend, a new pattern that's emerging from my current and most recent relationships.

in the past 2 years, i've been working on myself. i've seen the same therapist, and she's helped me work through a lot of baggage. i'm a much different person now than i was when i started therapy.

but each time i make a big breakthrough, i feel the need to dump my current partner.

not in a, "OH, i'm better now, i can do so much better!" manner but like... maybe... i've grown so much, and they are a part of a skin, an exoskeleton i can no longer fit into comfortably.

or maybe it's like kicking a bad habit. when you first swear off cigarettes/alcohol/drugs you have to avoid the people and places that enable those vices.

like... being with him, i couldn't shake my jealously and trust issues, because that's how i knew him. but with him i'm fine. i don't even think about what he's doing or who he's with. it's such a non issue. i trust him implicitly.

or maybe it's just a natural thing. i know myself more now than i did 6 months ago, than i did 2 years ago. maybe he just isn't the right fit. maybe i know now this isn't what i need.

i guess because now that i'm more mature, more aware, more confident... i'm breaking up with people not because it's wrong, but because it isn't right. those are the worst, the hardest break ups.