i was way behind square one ages ago.

what is with me?

i want so bad to talk to him, but something is holding me back. what the fuck is it?

let me remind you valentines day is next friday.

today when i was walking with santina upstairs, i hear someone call, "hey ugly!" im almost positive it was directed at me by jeff or his best bud. either that or im totally paranoid or something.

im still waiting for jacob to get back to me on what he was saying last night. i need to know really bad.

i hate myself so freakin much in everyway possible.

i dont know why the hell why. i hate that i do the things i do... or dont.

asdlkgjyga;serhgkjansdgjklhuthas;eljkthj

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im so fucking frustrated and i so fucking hate the way i feel. i wont talk about it. for fear that eveyrone thinks im totally stupid. theyre annoyed of this anyways. part of me feels that undescribable feeling and the other part of me feels incredibly stupid for doing so.

and i cant fucking describe anything.

im stuck.