when mom came home yesterday afternoon, she came into the computer room. she was all, "dont download any more music! theyre prosicuting people! blah blah blah!" of course, i told her, "mom, theyre not going to get everyone." i mean, c'mon, we live in fucking hendersonville, tn. i honestly dont know how theyll track everyone down. if you have kazaa, im pretty sure when you sign up they dont ask for much more than your email address. i s'pose if the government was really hard core theyd search like that or use your isp number or whatever. i think its ridiculous. theyre will always be free crap downloaded off the internet. i really doubt that can keep any part of the internet restricted by laws or rules. its like a total free for all here. if you look at people like me, being able to download mp3s actually ups cd sales. if im interested in a new artist or contemplating buying a new album, i always download a few of songs by the artist to see if its worth buying. after i buy the album, i usually delete their songs from my computer. but thats just me. id much rather have the actual thing rather than a copy i burned myself. but, whatever.

its friday! im looking forward to possibly sleeping in saturday and reading the news sunday. of course, there will be a lot of cleaning going on. but theres nothing out of the ordinary about that.

today when i got home, i decided to play around with that mary kay junk mom bought me last year in the hopes that id become... whatever it was she was hoping i would. i only got as far as mascara. i put it on, and the impact on my lashes made me look a lot like a porcelian doll. not that i have amazing skin or anything, cause i dont. damn it, its not like the instant i put make up on, ill be a total boy magnet. i really like lip gloss though. mary kay makes some kick-ass lip gloss. i just hate that its $8. i really like the way my eyes look after ive had a light cry session. not the blood-shot part, but the redness around my eyes. i think its looks so nice. if someone could teach me how to do that with make up, i think id wear it more.

you know, i think im the saddest girl ever. not as in boo-hoo, but the other kind. i really dont think im comfortable about talking about it to anyone, or writing it anywhere, not even in my pen-and-paper. id feel too vunerable. is there anyone out there that i could totally confide in without any risk of them taking advantage of me or hurting me? hm.

hey! i just found out the new strokes cd comes out in late october (the 21st to be exact)! yayayayayay! speaking of cds, im so in love with rooney. as soon as i get money, i will buy the album! but i need to save for the shoes. so much i want, so little money i make. being a teen with money troubles sucks!

on a totally unrelated note, i still havent ever been to a goodwill or salvation army! i really want to go, but i want a couple of friends to go with! maybe if shanna is ungrounded, we could go together. i really want some unique and retro clothes. but is goodwill the place to go? my wardrobe so desperatly needs a funky kick in the rear, but im so lost when it comes to wear to shop! i wish i could go up to the kids whos fashions i admire and ask, "so where the fuck do you get such bitchin' clothes, man?" i really wanted to go shopping in the fcuk shop in ny (for one, the name is so close to being "fuck", two, they had some pretty funk-ay clothes). adklfhdg!

did i mention is was friday? (as if you didnt know.)

blah, i really want to talk to jake again. i havent in forever. hey jake, if you still (did you ever?) read this, drop me a line at: "[email protected]". yeah, i havent memorized the html for a mail to link yet so... shove it!

spoonlover is such a cool chick. she posted her address on her diary for any kids that wanted to be correspondants with her! i think thatd be so awesome to do here, but im too scared to put my real adress on here. so if anyone would like to write letters with me untill i bore you, please write me and email and ill give you my adress (or vice versa, whichever you might prefer). i just really dont want any stalkers... *shudders* i really love letter though. make em all purty and creative!

its been real.