and now, after seeing the effort put forth by my sister to preserve my nephews belief in santa... i feel really guilty for writing "SANTA ISNT REAL!!" on the kickball field at my former elementary school. its rained since then, hasnt it?

today i feel really happy, like this day is bursting with potential. im so excited for no apparent reason. i could dance and sing and shout and cry.

my mom found an old letter i wrote to her before i was diagnosed with diabetes. reading it almost made me cry. it was really scary to me. i wrote it three days before i spent the night at the vanderbuilt childrens wing. *shudders*

christmas was lovely. i finally got paints and brushes! im so happy! today i will do some major painting, spotted with major photography sessions with my new digital camera! i also got both of the shins albums and the latest from dcfc and more bealtes albums, of course. i got a new journal, too, which is perfect because im about to run out of pages in my old one. i got a stocking full of cranraisins, jelly beans, gum, and lip gloss. my dog ate a bag of both cranraisins and jellybeans. is "jellybeans" one word or two? because i just wrote it both ways, haha.

the music of the shins is absolutely sexy.

well, i think im done here. youll be the first to know if my day amounts to anything, not that you are anyone.

its been real.