01.22.05 2:08 pm

so my interview for governor school for the arts was this morning. i picked up jesus (kyle) at seven thirty and with over a dozen donuts, we braved the interstate. getting there and back was a breeze. the waiting room (well, it was a hallway) was fun. i met and talked with a lot of cool people. except that "hardcore" girl didnt talk. im pretty positive shes not making it in. her stuff made me feel guilty. its like comparing your way of life to that of the people living in trailers in the appalachains. but, for every sad portfolio, there was a great one. i went into the room full of a positive energy, i was really upbeat and not at all nervous. i really surprised myself. my main judge was a really cool guy, and all the old ladies that walked around were great. my cockroach print fueled a strange conversation with one of them. "a couple of teachers used to play hockey in the halls with them (cockroaches). it was a really old school." so yeah, i feel really great about my interview and i think ill make it in. i just hope i dont make myself sick waiting for the letter to arrive. it wont come untill march!

last night at around 11ish, zach called and wanted to make plans to eat breakfast with me today, and wouldnt take no for an answer over the phone. i tired to tell him he wouldnt be awake, much less up for going out, at nine in the morning. and i was right, i called him and he had a massive hangover. he has such an awesome voice.

the situation between me and him is weird. it wouldnt be weird had he done this with any other girl, but its me, and i make things weird. oh well.

im so tired. i just woke up from a nap. i had to wake up like i was getting ready for school this morning. beh!

i went to the therapist thursday afternoon. i might not have to see her again. im feeling so much better. im a totally different person than the one i was six months ago. i mean, im the same person, i just feel so much better about myself and life. im back to my postitive ways for the most part. im still having self-confidence trouble (ie. situtations with zach, my work) but with time ill conquer that, too. im really happy guys, genuinely happy.

ok well, i think thats good enough.