i have so many emotions and such a limited vocabulary. there are a bunch of kids who know what im going through, but none at my reach. actually, there are a few, but im dysfunctional, and so is the relationship. my worlds crumbling, but nothing will be for sure untill this summer. how do you expect someone to change with that riding on their shoulders? that fucking bastard is going through a fucking midlife crisis, and this is how he deals. fuck him. i knew there was a reason for my unexplainable loathing, i just didnt know untill today. my sister is right, what he said was total bullshit. im sick at the thought. im scared of the future. i cant tell anyone because im so afraid of turning them off. im going to talk to my parents, but it wont be easy.

its been real.