ok so

a few weeks ago i broke up with matthew because i thought i was gay.

i mean, i guess i'm queer, like bisexual but i really hate the way that sounds, so i'm sticking with queer. i definitely loved matthew so, so much

but

maybe i used that as an excuse? i still have wild oats to sew and a lot of personal shit to work through before i can settle down.

he told me he could never speak to me again.

i get it.

i'm trying not to be so hung up on it. i miss him terribly, but we will be much better off with other people. i don't need to list our incompatibilities here. i am learning more about myself and what i should look for in a partner every day.

for now i want to be single for the foreseeable future.